The legacy effects of our current parenting skills will only be fully appreciated once our children have matured. Then, the positive – and less positive attributes we have taught will be that legacy. This week, guest writer Hilary Smith shares her research and views on this most valuable of topics. [Read more…]
Loneliness is a big topic for discussion, but for now; I’d like to share some of the philosophies I’ve learned over time and in doing so it will become clear there is much to explore beyond what I share with you here. [Read more…]
This quote, “Pain is Inevitable – Suffering is Optional”, is not easy to attribute to the originator, but some think it may derive from Buddhist traditional philosophy, and it certainly fits, regardless. The quote, and what it can mean, is also one of the most powerful metaphors to be heard and explored in the therapy room. This short post explores for you the reader, some of its potency.
When touched with a feeling of pain, the uninstructed run-of-the-mill person sorrows, grieves, & laments, beats his breast, becomes distraught. So he feels two pains, physical & mental. Just as if they were to shoot a man with an arrow and, right afterward, were to shoot him with another one, so that he would feel the pains of two arrows; in the same way, when touched with a feeling of pain, the uninstructed run-of-the-mill person sorrows, grieves, & laments, beats his breast, becomes distraught. So he feels two pains, physical & mental. Courtesy – fakebuddhaquotes.com/pain-is-inevitable-suffering-is-optional/
There is no such thing as a grown-up (the child and her beliefs remain in adulthood) because, during the first decade of life, we learn critical and fundamental beliefs that remain with us throughout adulthood. [Read more…]
The majority of clients I work with are adults suffering emotional turbulence associated with anxiety and low self-esteem, often inherited as a direct result of parenting styles. When we think of the ’emotional neglect’ of our children, we may envisage a rundown home, drugs, violence, or abuse – and while these may well be causal factors for many, others will come from what might be observed as “good homes, normal parents”. Our guest author, Helen Weir, covers The Hidden Parenting Problem.
‘Tom’ was brought up in a stable home; his parents stayed together, they fed him, clothed him, took him to the doctor when he was ill. They helped him with his homework, they bought him presents at Christmas, they never abused him in any way. Yet, as an adult, he feels that there’s something intrinsically missing from his life. [Read more…]
When we think of others who appear controlling, we might well imagine someone who manipulates and emotionally (psychologically) abuses others, and this may well be the case. However, the truth is we are ALL seeking some level of control, and on a horribly frequent basis! Ask yourself these three questions: [Read more…]
As long as we ‘should’, we may be trying and failing, in things we might otherwise ‘choose’; that’s the premise of this post. [Read more…]
Holiday and New Year greetings to all of you and my deepest appreciation for those who continue to engage and support me and my work. Read on for a New Year’s message requiring courage to take action – if this year is to be ‘the one’ where you CAN once again become the best expression of yourself. [Read more…]
Appearing as regular as the adverts, the inevitable and annual chorus of moans “Christmas! It gets earlier every year!” is something we all recognise. So, why do we say and do the same things each year, especially if it ramps up our stress and anxiety levels? [Read more…]
A short vlog with private counsellor, Bob Brotchie, about the subject of felt guilt. Consider the following:
