anger

In this, her latest post, Counsellor and Therapist Penni shares with us some thoughts about where denied emotional needs may reside and how we can reconnect – and respond effectively – to them.

Unconscious Self-Sabotage

Many are familiar with the term “self-sabotage” – meaning to get in our own way and prevent ourselves from achieving our goals and fulfilling our hopes and dreams. Not always a conscious choice, self-sabotage is often driven instead by the unconscious – the part of our psyche that operates outside of conscious awareness – that can leave us confused as to why we have said or done something that is completely opposed to our conscious choices, wishes and perhaps, our best interests. [Read more…]

In this post, Penni gives us some examples of Cognitive Distortions – unhelpful thinking styles that can cause us emotional distress and get in the way of taking positive action towards a happier and more balanced way of being.

Fact or Fiction?

Our thoughts can be very convincing. They can make us believe certain things are fact, when perhaps, the reality is quite different. Whilst our thoughts may not always be telling us the truth, they feel true and so we buy into them. We judge them to be rational and our subsequent behaviours are therefore deemed perfectly reasonable. For instance, we may think a friend is upset with us when they ignore us at a party and so we delete them as a contact or we may think, as we didn’t pass something first time, we’re bound to fail again, so we don’t bother trying. [Read more…]

In this post, Penni explores the uncomfortable feeling of resentment; what it is, what causes it and how it’s potentially harmful effects – physical, mental and emotional – can be avoided.

What is Resentment?

A pervasive feeling that creeps up on us when we feel we have been treated unfairly, resentment is an emotion that sits somewhere between anger and disappointment. As a stress inducing emotion, it can be damaging to us physically, as well as potentially being a highly destructive force within our significant relationships. Signs of resentment include being short-tempered, using passive-aggressive communication, having less empathy or emotionally withdrawing from the person we feel resentful towards. A variety of things can trigger resentment, but two key areas to explore are unfulfilled expectation and poor boundaries. [Read more…]

Suppressed emotions can have a significant impact on both the mind and the body. When we suppress our emotions, we are effectively bottling them up inside us, preventing them from being expressed in a healthy and natural way. This can lead to a range of negative consequences such as: [Read more…]

When we think of others who appear controlling, we might well imagine someone who manipulates and emotionally (psychologically) abuses others, and this may well be the case. However, the truth is we are ALL seeking some level of control, and on a horribly frequent basis! Ask yourself these three questions: [Read more…]

Anger is a natural, healthy emotion in moderation. Too often we hear ‘angry’ parents speaking angrily to their children and yelling “calm down”! Society is much the same, we get angry when someone transgresses our beliefs and values, yet we may rarely ask why. [Read more…]

I’ve spent many years behind the wheel of one vehicle or another, maybe you have too? When I’m behind the wheel, less so when walking, I catch myself smiling at people and behaviours… or snarling… because I’ve made a snap (mindless) judgement about a person or behaviour. Why is this?  [Read more…]