Can Mindfulness Keep Us Safe From COVID-19?

Huge thanks to our resident guest author, Tim. In this piece, he opens up for discussion and consideration the hot topic of COVID-19 and the impact on our wellbeing the global shutdown can create.


If you’re hoping for a universal aspirin then it’s a pretty daft question, really, because it can and it can’t. It can’t stop you from becoming infected with COVID-19, nor can it mitigate the infection should we be unlucky enough to contract it. But we can look at the things we can do mindfully to make our lives easier.

By staying mindful we can keep ourselves level headed and calm. [Read more…]

Guilt: The Great Demoniser

Another wonderful piece by Tim, our resident guest author. This time we are looking at guilt; something many of us live with or have lived with for years.


I’ve been thinking a lot about guilt.

I don’t mean real guilt; guilt that is the guilt caused by a foul act such as a hurting another person or creature or committing a crime. I mean the guilt that we have had forced upon us by society, by, in prior days, religion, by those who seek to control us.

 

Guilt makes us secretive, drives us in on ourselves, can cause a multitude of unpleasantness for us and for those around us.

[Read more…]

Of Toxicity and Toxic Behaviour

A wonderful piece by Tim, our resident guest author, looking at toxicity. This is an area I come across regularly; clients in relationships that are affected by narcissistic behaviours. Hence, why we launched NAAW (Narcissist Avoidance Action Week) in January 2018.


Oh Bob Brotchie, what are we going to do with you? You’ve found a rich vein of material on Psychology Today, and a large number of the articles you show us on your Twitter feed are off kilter like this one, New Findings on Toxic Masculinity and, as so often, I’ve left the author a comment.

Why? [Read more…]

A Kiss is a Terrible Thing to Waste

An engaging piece from Tim, our resident guest author. When I first read this, for me it brought up the ‘conditional’ kiss – the “Right, I’ve kissed you, now kiss me.” attitude that is prevalent. What thoughts and emotions does this bring to the fore – for you?


I love that line. I love the song. I had no idea it came from the musical of Whistle Down the Wind, a movie I felt was dreadful. I love this version by Meat Loaf.

[Read more…]

Stop selling! I wish to decide for myself.

An interesting piece by Tim, our resident guest writer taking a look at NLP.


I seem to be tripping over folk in Psychology Today at the moment. I blame Bob, because he’s highlighting articles that are worthy of our attention through his Twitter account. He showed me this piece, How To Deal With Nerves Before A Presentation and I almost like it.

“Will you never stop criticising?” I hear you yell at me!

And the answer is that I will, but in my own time. It’s just like your decision to read this piece. I’m just a smidgen critical this time, though, not angry. [Read more…]

Self Ghettoisation

I ‘tweeted’ and Tim wrote…


I make no apology that this piece is about gay men. A gay man annoyed the bejasus out of me this morning. Since I am also a gay man, I found an immediate rant coming on. Now, you know I write pieces here when I’m angry… In the wee small hours today [25 February 2019], on Twitter, Bob sent this tweet. I am not angry at Bob.

[Read more…]

Queer Me!

How do we commemorate Tim, our resident guest writer, sharing his family history, relationships and feelings for the last five years? By asking him to share more with us.


Actually, I prefer the sub-title, Halfway Between Flying and Crying, because that is how I have felt all my life, that I have been halfway between the exhilaration of flying and being in tears of despair. I don’t mean the flying to be inside a plane. I think of it as just me, flying, as in a dream. What am I talking about? Don’t worry, I’ll get to it. I’m working up to it in my head. You don’t seriously think these pieces are planned, do you?

That ‘flying’ thing – you know I’m weird already, if you’ve read the pieces I’ve penned for Bob before.

No, not weird. Angry. Somehow unfulfilled. Seeking the thing that is just around the corner, the thing I can’t see, the thing that, if I catch a glimpse of it, runs away on silent feet. [Read more…]

About those sticks and stones…

Another wonderful piece from our resident guest writer, Tim, sharing some family history and touching on how being mindful has played a part when encountering and revisiting events. Sit back, read and enjoy.


The names, you know, they can hurt me, hurt you. And that hurt is harder to heal than a broken bone.

At work yesterday I had to listen to a man who declared himself to be 70 years old. He was opining that the UK needed to leave the EU because, in his words, “It is full of East Germans and Jews!”. Because my work is 100% customer service, I chose to listen to his bigotry rather than challenge him on it. In my own time I can challenge folk, but in the firm’s time I work to uphold their interests. [Read more…]

Are you beset by anniversaries?

Another brilliant read by Tim about anniversaries and the effect they can have upon our thoughts and emotions.


I sometimes wonder why we have anniversaries. A friend of mine always goes away at Christmas because her mother died on Christmas Day and she and her family do not want to celebrate in case it reminds them of her death.

 

I have a surprise for her. She remembers it anyway on that day and every so often when she mentions it to other people.

 

My father died on the 6th of August, in 1982. I was on a business trip to the USA and was flying home on that day. My mother was glad he had waited until the 6th because the 5th is my birthday. I was wholly ambivalent. ‘When you dead, you dead” is a thought that came to me through reading one of Guy Martin’s autobiographies. It was what I was thinking then and his Grandpa Kidals encapsulated it perfectly. [Read more…]

Filter Messages for Your Own Peace of Mind

An interesting piece from our resident guest writer, Tim looking at what we read and our reactions.


You know it takes something that gets me angry to make me write a piece for Bob? You didn’t? Gosh! I’d better tell you that, then!

For reasons I have never quite understood, I’m a member of LinkedIn. I’ve kept the membership, probably against my better judgement, since I retired. I only joined it in the foolish, and unfounded, hope that it might prove to be career enhancing. Ah well, hope, they say, springs eternal. [Read more…]