CEN

Receiving the message, in childhood, that your feelings don’t matter (in whichever way this message was relayed), can lead to an adulthood of being unable to connect with your ‘self’, others and the world around you. When our emotional experiences are dismissed, ignored or simply not encouraged during childhood, we intuitively shelve this important part of ourselves. We wall off our feelings, stop believing in them, stop listening to them and, in losing our connection with them, we lose belief in ourselves. [Read more…]

At the time of writing, much of the planet is facing a ‘second-wave’ of COVID-19. The global economy is being challenged, the poor are getting poorer, the sick, sicker, and all our perceptions of thinking we have any level of ‘control’ are being fractured. But, is the outlook really all doom and gloom?

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As another year ends, we can be grateful.

Some, however, will not be feeling a desire to express gratitude as 2018 was yet another year of psychological pain and turbulence. They wonder if these symptoms will ever leave – and peace and non-suffering will ever come to them.

We know there will always be suffering but to what extent, is in our own hands. The world may often be chaotic, but we can remain separate from that chaos if we elect to skilfully and mindfully observe more, and judge less.

Once again, Tim hardly needs an introduction to this series based around the China Doll. He evokes many emotions and continues to enthral us.

I promised myself that the third piece I wrote about China Dolls would be the last. Then, as I sent the last piece to Bob for him to decide about suitability to publish this one crept into my head. The last three had ready made titles. They forced their way into my head and insisted I write them whereas, this one snuck up behind me and whispered into my ear. [Read more…]

Resident guest author, Tim, continues on from his last post This China Doll Failed Quality Control and Must be Smashed. Read, digest and take something away.

I could quite possibly make a series about the collection and care of the China Doll. Some people seek out dolls that they deface, somehow, in order to create rejects out of perfection. Or, rather, they create their debased perfection out of true perfection.

If you’ve read This China Doll Failed Quality Control and Must be Smashed, which will open in a new tab for you, and, while not required reading, is a piece I suggest to you, you’ll learn more about me, and you’ll learn more about China Dolls; how parents can be terrifying, how some children (well, me) were afraid of their parents. Since I wasn’t smashed because I refused to show imperfection until I escaped you may have worked out that I am not writing about me this time. [Read more…]

We welcome back Tim, our resident guest author, who continues to enthral us.

That’s what they do in china doll factories – they smash them. Sure, we’ve heard of ‘seconds’ but that’s for plates, cups, saucers, and for the Outlet Store. China dolls are the perfect collectables; imperfection might make one unique, like a misprinted postage stamp, and thus have inherent value above the rest. Collectable china dolls are not ‘run of kiln’ or ROK items. [Read more…]

As featured on Psychreg – Let’s talk about behaviour, this is an excerpt from my article (The ‘Fatal Flaw’ Found in Adulthood) discussing emotions, CEN and trauma. [Read more…]

Childhood Emotional Neglect (CEN) is something observed in so many adult clients I meet every day. Yet, most clients I work with have little idea they may be in receipt of such symptoms; after all, CEN is about the dreadful abuse and neglect sometimes reported in the news, isn’t it? [Read more…]

The Stable Home

‘Tom’ was brought up in a stable home; his parents stayed together, they fed him, clothed him, took him to the doctor when he was ill. They helped him with his homework, they bought him presents at Christmas, they never abused him in any way. Yet, as an adult, he feels that there’s something intrinsically missing from his life. [Read more…]

…and this may extend to other family members! An alarmingly high proportion of clients who engage with me for low self-esteem, depression and anxiety, share the theme ‘lack of permission’ to be ‘good enough’ and of value, as much as anyone else on this planet! So where does this originate from?

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