relationships

Of Toxicity and Toxic Behaviour

A wonderful piece by Tim, our resident guest author, looking at toxicity. This is an area I come across regularly; clients in relationships that are affected by narcissistic behaviours. Hence, why we launched NAAW (Narcissist Avoidance Action Week) in January 2018.

Oh Bob Brotchie, what are we going to do with you? You’ve found a rich vein of material on Psychology Today, and a large number of the articles you show us on your Twitter feed are off kilter like this one, New Findings on Toxic Masculinity and, as so often, I’ve left the author a comment.

Why? [Read more…]

A Kiss is a Terrible Thing to Waste

An engaging piece from Tim, our resident guest author. When I first read this, for me it brought up the ‘conditional’ kiss – the “Right, I’ve kissed you, now kiss me.” attitude that is prevalent. What thoughts and emotions does this bring to the fore – for you?

I love that line. I love the song. I had no idea it came from the musical of Whistle Down the Wind, a movie I felt was dreadful. I love this version by Meat Loaf.

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Queer Me!

How do we commemorate Tim, our resident guest writer, sharing his family history, relationships and feelings for the last five years? By asking him to share more with us.

Actually, I prefer the sub-title, Halfway Between Flying and Crying, because that is how I have felt all my life, that I have been halfway between the exhilaration of flying and being in tears of despair. I don’t mean the flying to be inside a plane. I think of it as just me, flying, as in a dream. What am I talking about? Don’t worry, I’ll get to it. I’m working up to it in my head. You don’t seriously think these pieces are planned, do you?

That ‘flying’ thing – you know I’m weird already, if you’ve read the pieces I’ve penned for Bob before.

No, not weird. Angry. Somehow unfulfilled. Seeking the thing that is just around the corner, the thing I can’t see, the thing that, if I catch a glimpse of it, runs away on silent feet. [Read more…]

There is NO shame! #JustTalk

It just so happens, this joint campaign coincides with various other events worldwide as many organisations are raising awareness about suicide prevention. My aim here, is to reach out to individuals to stop and think before deciding upon any action. As you will see, or already know, this is an area close to my heart – it affects us all – myself, my peers, colleagues and friends – and yours.

 

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About those sticks and stones…

Another wonderful piece from our resident guest writer, Tim, sharing some family history and touching on how being mindful has played a part when encountering and revisiting events. Sit back, read and enjoy.

The names, you know, they can hurt me, hurt you. And that hurt is harder to heal than a broken bone.

At work yesterday I had to listen to a man who declared himself to be 70 years old. He was opining that the UK needed to leave the EU because, in his words, “It is full of East Germans and Jews!”. Because my work is 100% customer service, I chose to listen to his bigotry rather than challenge him on it. In my own time I can challenge folk, but in the firm’s time I work to uphold their interests. [Read more…]

Ten Minutes for Me

We welcome back Caroline who is a health and wellness enthusiast, and an avid blogger. When she’s not writing about solutions for better wellbeing, she’s reading the latest studies about mental health, or catching up with her own fitness regime at the gym. Caroline also enjoys spending some time by herself each day to meditate, relax, and sip on a nice cup of coffee!

The Power of Me Time

In the fast-paced world that we live in today, it’s tempting to feel as though we all have to be moving forward at break-neck speed. We convince ourselves that if we’re not working, or putting our energy into personal projects, then we’re simply “wasting” time. However, there’s nothing wasteful about taking a little time out of your schedule to care for yourself. [Read more…]

Are you beset by anniversaries?

Another brilliant read by Tim about anniversaries and the effect they can have upon our thoughts and emotions.

I sometimes wonder why we have anniversaries. A friend of mine always goes away at Christmas because her mother died on Christmas Day and she and her family do not want to celebrate in case it reminds them of her death.

 

I have a surprise for her. She remembers it anyway on that day and every so often when she mentions it to other people.

 

My father died on the 6th of August, in 1982. I was on a business trip to the USA and was flying home on that day. My mother was glad he had waited until the 6th because the 5th is my birthday. I was wholly ambivalent. ‘When you dead, you dead” is a thought that came to me through reading one of Guy Martin’s autobiographies. It was what I was thinking then and his Grandpa Kidals encapsulated it perfectly. [Read more…]

Key Signs to Know if Your Casual Drinking is Turning Into an Addiction

We are, once again, approaching that time of year when partaking in the festivities allows us to enjoy special food and drink and provides us with a much needed change in routine. However, are we mindful of our activities or do we find ourselves mindlessly ‘following the crowd’? Also, consider the rest of the year, not just the festive times. Are we mindful of our habits and behaviours?

Joel Curtis, a registered Psychologists with Endeavour Wellness has over 17 years of experience. Joel also holds a Masters’ Degree in Psychology and owns a number of private practices in Sydney and provides expert content for several national TV and Radio programmes. Here, Joel looks at the subject of casual drinking and addiction. [Read more…]

Understanding the Narcissist

The subject of narcissism regularly emerges when discussing abuse, childhood emotional neglect (CEN) and negative relationships both domestically and outside the home. I find it also emerges in casual conversations I have with others – and many are not aware of the term ‘narcissism’ and how it relates to them personally.

Of course, not all narcissism is unhealthy, but there is definitely more awareness now than in previous years, and you have likely seen many articles posted on social media about narcissism as an unhealthy personality trait. But how does this relate to us personally? Are these articles just talking about domestic and emotional abusers? [Read more…]