Understanding Anger: Managing and Reducing Unnecessary Outbursts

Anger is a natural human emotion that we all experience from time to time. It can arise due to various triggers, such as frustration, injustice, or feeling threatened. While anger can be a valid response, it is essential to learn how to manage and reduce unnecessary anger. [Read more…]

Childhood Emotional Neglect: Is it time to reclaim your ‘self’?

Receiving the message, in childhood, that your feelings don’t matter (in whichever way this message was relayed), can lead to an adulthood of being unable to connect with your ‘self’, others and the world around you. When our emotional experiences are dismissed, ignored or simply not encouraged during childhood, we intuitively shelve this important part of ourselves. We wall off our feelings, stop believing in them, stop listening to them and, in losing our connection with them, we lose belief in ourselves. [Read more…]

Trauma: It does not occur in isolation to the community of a traumatised individual

We now take a break from Anne Marie McKinley’s mini series (focusing on the various aspects of birth trauma) by delving into the whys and wherefores around history and developments in this sixth part.

In 1992, Judith Lewis Herman published her book Trauma and Recovery. “The conflict between the will to deny horrible events and the will to proclaim them aloud is the central dialectic of psychological trauma.” 1

I live in Northern Ireland, born in the South. In 1998, I was in Stormont, waiting with family and friends for the signing of The Belfast Agreement (also known as the Good Friday Agreement because it was reached on Good Friday, 10 April 1998) and I remember my 3-year-old daughter escaping under the barrier to greet the politicians. There were stark predictions, by academics after the agreement was signed, of concern for the mental health of the next generation in Northern Ireland. In 2016, The Mental Health Foundation reported that Northern Ireland had a 25% higher overall prevalence of mental health problems than England. Previous to this, in 2014/15, according to the Northern Ireland Health Survey, 19% of individuals showed signs of a possible mental health problem. More women (20%) than men (16%) reported signs of mental health problems.2 [Read more…]

Birth Trauma: Part 2 of 3

Friend, Flight, Fight, Freeze, Flop? Anne Marie McKinley (a Midwife and Birth Trauma Specialist) now takes us through the why and how in her fifth instalment in this series.

The Trauma Response and Childbirth

Bessel van der Kolk has spent over 30 years training psychotherapists to work with psychological trauma. Taken from the 28th Annual International Trauma Conference:


For almost three decades this conference has examined the evolving knowledge of how trauma affects psychological and biological developmental processes, and how the damage caused by trauma and neglect can be reversed. 1


We live in a world where teachers, more frequently, educate small children in the skills of mindfulness and self-regulation early in their little lives. However, many adults will often only find this need to engage in such activities when they are pregnant. [Read more…]

Make 2019 the year you stop waiting for it to be okay!

As another year ends, we can be grateful.

Some, however, will not be feeling a desire to express gratitude as 2018 was yet another year of psychological pain and turbulence. They wonder if these symptoms will ever leave – and peace and non-suffering will ever come to them.

We know there will always be suffering but to what extent, is in our own hands. The world may often be chaotic, but we can remain separate from that chaos if we elect to skilfully and mindfully observe more, and judge less.

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PTSD: The Signs You May be Missing

Whilst post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) is commonly understood as a condition suffered by frontline personnel in the military and emergency services, there is a groundswell of opinion that suggest quite strongly that variations of PTSD can be found across society.

Janice Killey has a wealth of experience and training in this area and shares some of the signs we may be missing and gives insight into what PTSD is and the symptoms to watch out for. Janice also holds a Diploma of Education, Bachelor of Arts (Psychology), Master of Arts (Counselling), Diploma of Clinical Hypnotherapy (ASH) and is a Registered Psychologist at Psychologists Southern Sydney. She is also a member of the Australian Psychological Society.

Many people nowadays are unaware that they have a mental condition called PTSD or best known as Post-traumatic Stress Disorder. Why is this so? Well, the reason for this is, even today, is the lack of information or awareness about it. Let me share with you what it is all about and the signs that you may be missing. [Read more…]

How PTSD can be Treated with Rewind Technique

Guest author, Michael is a health and fitness blogger who is constantly attempting to learn about new techniques that may unlock the solution to ailments that modern medicine is unable to solve. He regularly writes about his discoveries and recommends other Past Life Regression QHHT to address PTSD issues also.

PTSD, or Post-traumatic Stress Disorder, is defined as a condition where individuals suffer mental health issues after having experienced or witnessed a traumatic event. [Read more…]

The China Doll That Resisted Being Smashed

Resident guest author, Tim, continues his series about China Dolls.

I wonder if this will be my last piece on China Dolls?

So far I’ve talked about the smashing of the imperfect China Dolls, and the tainting of the perfect ones. As you are no doubt becoming aware, I use me as an example a lot here, though the previous post was about my three friends. I use me as an example because I know me best, and because I have enough things I’m angry about to fill a library. I’m angry about the way my three friends were treated by their parents, too. [Read more…]

Pain is Inevitable – Suffering is Optional

This quote, “Pain is Inevitable – Suffering is Optional”, is not easy to attribute to the originator, but some think it may derive from Buddhist traditional philosophy, and it certainly fits, regardless. The quote, and what it can mean, is also one of the most powerful metaphors to be heard and explored in the therapy room. This short post explores for you the reader, some of its potency.


When touched with a feeling of pain, the uninstructed run-of-the-mill person sorrows, grieves, & laments, beats his breast, becomes distraught. So he feels two pains, physical & mental. Just as if they were to shoot a man with an arrow and, right afterward, were to shoot him with another one, so that he would feel the pains of two arrows; in the same way, when touched with a feeling of pain, the uninstructed run-of-the-mill person sorrows, grieves, & laments, beats his breast, becomes distraught. So he feels two pains, physical & mental. Courtesy – fakebuddhaquotes.com/pain-is-inevitable-suffering-is-optional/



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The Effects of Bullying: A Lifelong Legacy?

In client collaborations around psychological distress,  one cause is often attributable to the experience of bullying in the person’s earlier life. I have seen the effects from age 11 to over 60. I ask, is it inevitable that the residual, harmful effects of abusive events must define our present moment – and therefore our future?

[Read more…]