Tim

I have always hated Christmas and the New Year

Tim, who has become our resident guest post author, explains why he has always hated Christmas, New Year and some other days.

I have always hated Christmas and the New Year…

I also hate my birthday.

I hate some other days, too.

Let me try to explain why.

When I was a child, before I was a teenager – indeed, up to and including my thirteenth birthday, all in my life was, at least outwardly, rosy. I had the wonder of childhood, was mostly unmolested by the demons of puberty, I had a safe home (though I had what I imagined were the usual rows with my parents) and I felt happy when both festivals arrived. I was given presents, some quite wonderful, others mundane. All was right with my juvenile world. Well, probably, anyway. [Read more…]

What is masculinity? Or, What is a boy?

This week’s guest contributor, Tim, writes eloquently about the impact of gender and discrimination; inviting us to think about “societal norms”.

What is masculinity? Or, what is a boy?

If we go simply by genitalia, the answer is clear. So, it seems, if we listen to the head of the Roman Catholic Church, peddlers of original sin, purgatory and the sale of Indulgences, is religion. Boy’s genitals, you are a boy, Girl’s? You are a girl.

It ain’t necessarily so.

If we go by toys, well, frankly, give me a break. Boys and girls have teddy bears (dolls), boys have (had?) Action Man (dolls), girls have dolls.

Ok, that fails. [Read more…]

Anger and a Candid Perspective

Anger is a natural, healthy emotion in moderation. Too often we hear ‘angry’ parents speaking angrily to their children and yelling “calm down”! Society is much the same, we get angry when someone transgresses our beliefs and values, yet we may rarely ask why. [Read more…]

The Talking Cure

From the perspective of the patient, Tim talks about his experiences in finding a talking therapy – and the obstacles and challenges along the way.

I saw my first psychotherapist in around 2002. I didn’t want to, but I went anyway. I didn’t like the idea and it wasn’t unduly helpful, either. Wisely, I let the experience colour me against that individual, not the profession as a whole. It made me selective. I wondered if you might like to learn a little more about that. [Read more…]

Tales of the Unexpected

Life is full of unexpected happenings and today our guest author, Tim, shares what for some will be a biggie. For others, they can find acceptance quite easily. So, why is that?

It’s a dilemma, is sexual orientation. Unless you are heterosexual and conform to the heteronormative society we live in, that is. Then it isn’t a dilemma at all. The rest of us either conform, or we don’t. So, the question “How do you react to the unexpected?” needs to be asked.

Actually, it needs to be answered.

If you’re a people person then a surprise party held for you won’t worry you… or will it?

  • Unexpected inheritance beyond the dreams of avarice, that’s great, isn’t it… or are you not so sure?
  • Fred, the chap who’s the lifeblood of the office is going out with Mary, they look so good together, but they’ve kept it a secret forever.
  • The company is downsizing, and I’m afraid your job is one of those that is being removed. We’ll give you outplacement consultancy.
  • Alan, happily married for the last 15 years with a couple of really sweet children, one 12, one 10, long term friend, guest at your wedding with his wife Andrea, tells you he is gay.

[Read more…]