Guest author, Alice Porter shares some insightful tips to help us recognise the signs of undiagnosed mental health issues in our young ones (sadly, something that I come across within my work as a counsellor). Alice, who is passionate about raising awareness of children’s mental health issues, is a writer for Lorimer Fostering and shares some great tips to help with recognising the ‘signs’. Continue reading “Children’s Mental Health: Recognising the Signs” »
Guest author, Herbert, is a creative writer at Greatpaper. He values the importance of family towards his craft, and travels to give his writing a fresher perspective. He is fond of hiking, biking, and engaging in extreme sports. This week Herbert is sharing in our continued discussion on the subject of anxiety and his relapse with GAD. Continue reading “Choose to Come out on Fire from the Hells of Anxiety” »
Our guest author Caroline, who is a health and wellness blogger, enjoys helping others to improve and enhance their lives. She also loves teaching about how the mind works, keeping up to date with all the latest developments in psychology and mental health. Today she covers the topic of social anxiety. Continue reading “How to Be Social Without Letting Anxiety Overtake You” »
A stunning read from our resident guest author, Tim, that doesn’t require an introduction.
How do I cope with the stress of world events?
World events can throw a huge spanner in our works. One happened with an election result in the USA way before 20 January 2017, but the spanner arrived just then, yesterday, and with such effect that it almost feels as if the eschaton has arrived, and I am not a religious man. Continue reading “World Events and My Equanimity” »
Why is writing an integral part of life, for some more than others? Writers express their emotions, feelings and thoughts on a daily basis. Tim, our resident guest post author, covers expressing ourselves through writing and what it can achieve. Continue reading “When Writing About Emotions and Thoughts” »
Tim, who has become our resident guest post author, explains why he has always hated Christmas, New Year and some other days. Continue reading “I have always hated Christmas and the New Year” »
Guest author Matthew Snider is a writer, a personal development junkie and a regular blogger at Self Development Secrets. Matt, with his one quarter Asian descent, did not start out as a writer, but he says, “the love for a subject is the most important aspect of writing. The readers want to read something written by someone who understands them.” Continue reading “Encouraging Positive Thinking in Children” »
When you find sleep difficult, whether trying to get there – or after waking during the night, it can cause havoc with your next day. I’ve written about this a number of times, here’s one popular example, but for those of you perhaps less inclined with previous posts, this week’s guest author, Sarah, might have just the thing! Continue reading “Can’t Sleep? Try Using Sound to Your Advantage!” »
Our children being ‘picky eaters’ can be one of the most frustrating parts of the parenting experience. I have personal experience of this and guest author, Caroline Kastner, offers some helpful tips to manage this behaviour. Continue reading “How to Manage Your Child’s Picky Eating” »
A guest article, by Sonia Tagliareni – a writer and researcher for DrugRehab and who is passionate about helping people, started her professional writing career in 2012 and has since written for the finance, engineering, lifestyle and entertainment industry. Sonia also holds a bachelor’s degree from the Florida Institute of Technology. Today we focus on the most commonly understood phenomenon of codependency in a relationship where one of the partners may be challenged with substance addiction. It is worth maintaining an open mind, however, if you have a challenging relationship. Codependency is also highly observable in relationships outside of addiction!
Codependency, an emotional and behavioral condition that often afflicts the family members of a substance abuser, occurs when a person cannot function in a healthy manner without another. The codependent individual becomes obsessed with their family member’s substance use disorder and allows the disease to take over their lives.
Codependent relationships are unhealthy, one-sided and often self-destructive. They usually affect a significant other, a parent, a sibling, a friend or a co-worker. Despite having good intentions, the codependent people take on the role of “benefactors” to the addicted individual. They enable the substance user by making excuses for the person’s addiction and negative behaviors.
Ask yourself these questions to determine whether you are codependent:
- Does my identity depend on what someone thinks of me?
- Does someone’s approval of me boost my self-confidence?
- Is my sole focus making someone happy or ensuring they are safe?
- Does solving someone’s problem boost my self-esteem?
Characteristics of Codependency
The substance user relies on the codependent individual to fuel his or her addiction, and the latter feels rewarded for being needed. When the relationship develops into a compulsive one, the codependent caretaker may feel trapped and helpless. Some characteristics of codependency are:
The caretaker becomes obsessed with the substance user’s alcohol and drug consumption to the point where their lives revolve around the addict’s activities.
The caretaker refuses to acknowledge that their loved one has a problem and keeps making excuses and lies to protect the substance abusing person and develop an irrational sense of responsibility for the his or her actions.
3. Mood Swings
The caretaker’s moods depend on the substance user’s mood, causing them to have difficulty identifying their own feelings.
4. Irrational Behavior
The caretakers puts themselves at risk by acting impulsively, such as following their loved one to an unsafe location. They also become controlling toward the addict and others around them.
When the caretaker becomes too invested in the addiction, they may lash out at the substance user in aggressive ways.
Stemming from the unhealthy and one-sided relationship, the caretaker develops hate toward themselves because of their loved ones’ addiction.
7. Displaced feelings
The codependent fails to deal with their feelings and takes their stress out on people other than the substance user.
8. Hidden Emotions
As a result of denial, the codependent caretaker refuses to deal with their real feelings and instead substitute them with activities such as work, eating, cleaning and exercise.
Codependency can be treated by exploring its causes, which are usually rooted in an individual’s childhood experiences. The key to treating codependence is to recognize the early signs and stop the behavior. With the proper education, individual therapy sessions and group counselling, the codependent individual can learn how to function on their own.
Further information can be found at: