Self Esteem

We’re going to explore the profound and lasting impact parental comments have on adult self-talk, shedding light on how these early influences can shape our inner dialogue, self-esteem, and overall mental health.

When we consider the factors that shape our self-perception and inner dialogue, the influence of parental comments stands out as particularly significant. From the earliest stages of life, the words parents use can become deeply ingrained, serving as the foundation for our self-talk well into adulthood. Despite the playground chant of: “Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words shall never hurt me.” the reality is that words, especially from parents, can leave lasting psychological impacts.

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Childhood plays a crucial role in shaping our emotional, cognitive, and social development. However, when individuals experience arrested development during this period, their growth and maturation may be hindered, potentially leading to lasting effects on their relationships and self-esteem in later life. This article explores the concept of arrested development and its impact on individuals as they navigate adulthood.

Understanding Arrested Development

Arrested development refers to a condition where an individual’s emotional, psychological, or social development stagnates or fails to progress at the expected rate during childhood. This may occur due to various factors, such as trauma, neglect, dysfunctional family dynamics, or lack of adequate support systems. When a child’s developmental milestones are not adequately addressed, it can have far-reaching consequences in adulthood. [Read more…]

The family ‘role’ that may have been assigned in childhood could explain why codependent behaviours are experienced in adulthood.

We can look to our childhood family for clues as to how we may, or have, developed a codependent relational style. Families can be viewed as an emotional unit which operates within their own unique complex system. ’Roles’ for each member of the family system can exist. These roles are mostly flexible and members can drift towards one or more. However, when there is dysfunction present – perhaps difficult issues that are not being addressed – these roles can become rigid and later, impact behaviour in adult relationships.

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An imaginative and inspirational perspective of self-esteem, and how we should all get growing more!

When I think of healthy self-esteem I imagine it as a flourishing garden, filled with beautiful flowers, shrubs and trees. Pastels and vibrant hues nestling side by side in a wonderfully natural space, each existing exactly where it should be – confident and comfortable to be where they are – each individual plant or tree has earned its rightful place in amongst all the other plants and trees. And when some begin to fade (as some plants do with time), new seeds arrive creating an ever-changing environment; alive, thriving and continually renewing and growing. [Read more…]

A trait most commonly observed in the therapy room is low self-esteem. As a professional ‘observer’, I also see this in the wider world too. Celebrities, wealthy individuals and those who to the untrained eye, “have it all” are actually often seen to be in great distress. I have never been a celebrity or had the burden of wealth, but I too was one who others shared their thoughts – “I wish I could be in his shoes!”

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Labels, labels, labels… If we must describe what I may be, then I am quite possibly something of each of the three labels within the title. [Read more…]

Job loss? Is just that – a job loss! Yet, if we are faced with this event, we take it personally, feeling wounded – perhaps humiliated and then anxious. The fear of financial problems along with the major challenges for our psyche of confronting change. [Read more…]

Jealous? Jealousy is one of the most insidious of emotions. I’m sure no one has ever enjoyed feeling this way – or being on the receiving end! So where does it come from, why do we feel it, and what can we do about it? [Read more…]

What do you expect out of others, yourself, and life? Many personal frustrations demonstrated by clients are with people not meeting ‘their’ expectations. This may be unrecognised initially but when the question is considered, it can provide for that eureka moment.

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Fathers – new ones, experienced ones, those who live with their children, those who are estranged, those whose children have left the nest… and those who are no longer ‘in touch’, for whatever reason. The following are, I’m sure you know, recognisable statements commonly said, thought or heard: [Read more…]