Guest Post

Life is full of unexpected happenings and today our guest author, Tim, shares what for some will be a biggie. For others, they can find acceptance quite easily. So, why is that?

It’s a dilemma, is sexual orientation. Unless you are heterosexual and conform to the heteronormative society we live in, that is. Then it isn’t a dilemma at all. The rest of us either conform, or we don’t. So, the question “How do you react to the unexpected?” needs to be asked.

Actually, it needs to be answered.

If you’re a people person then a surprise party held for you won’t worry you… or will it?

• Unexpected inheritance beyond the dreams of avarice, that’s great, isn’t it… or are you not so sure?
• Fred, the chap who’s the lifeblood of the office is going out with Mary, they look so good together, but they’ve kept it a secret forever.
• The company is downsizing, and I’m afraid your job is one of those that is being removed. We’ll give you outplacement consultancy.
• Alan, happily married for the last 15 years with a couple of really sweet children, one 12, one 10, long-term friend, guest at your wedding with his wife Andrea, tells you he is gay.

[Read more…]

Eva closes the series, observing gratitude for the snapshots of all the contributing authors who have selflessly created this opportunity for those who haven’t experience of Bipolar Affective Disorder to begin to understand, even a little bit more. Eva is keen to demonstrate the positive aspects of individuals – and their bipolar. [Read more…]

In this penultimate post in the series ‘Living with Bipolar Affective Disorder’, Kevin E. Cranston shares his profound observations in a telling way. Awakening from dreams has a whole new slant when recounted by Kevin. [Read more…]

Chantelle shares how, with the crucial support of her husband, she tackles managing Bipolar without the full medication regime. A powerful account follows around how she copes, to what extent, and the highs and lows associated with her Bipolar condition. [Read more…]

Lynn Browning shares the pain she is challenged with – due, in part, to those who carelessly discriminate and are demonstrating ignorance and stigmatising judgement of others. Despite Lynn volunteering in a shop to help others less fortunate, she wonders if she can return…

Sticks and Stones

One of the few things that I really enjoy, is working in the charity shop. It makes me feel useful for a few hours. I love being out front on the till. I love meeting people and I love the diversity of people that come in. I love the fact that people want to talk to me. Some come in, just for a chat, and never buy anything. Volunteering means that there’s no pressure; I don’t have to be there. The other staff know nothing about my mental health. [Read more…]

In this second of six, Tabitha Clark shares her story of living with Bipolar Affective Disorder. Read on to gain a snapshot – and some insight… [Read more…]

I was very honoured recently to be asked to work with Counsellor, Bob Brotchie on a fantastic new project he has pioneered. His ‘Living with…’ series is a way to explore the day-to-day ‘lived experiences’ of individuals dealing with a variety of conditions and illnesses. – H [Read more…]

When our moods are turbulent, the mind a whirl of anxiety, how often might we consider what we are eating and drinking – and whether this may hold a significant contributory factor? I am hugely proud to share this guest post with you. Carol Lee shares her story here –  it may well shine a light on yours too! [Read more…]

Anglia Counselling was honoured to be asked to help promote and share this wonderful mission being planned and undertaken by Breifne Earley.

“Breifne Earley set off from his home in Leitrim on 22 February 2014 for a worldwide trip to help raise awareness of depression, mental health and suicide prevention, cycling through Ireland, Wales, England, France, Belgium, Luxembourg, Germany, Austria, Slovakia, Croatia, Hungary, Serbia, Bulgaria, Greece, Turkey, India, Malaysia, Singapore, Australia, New Zealand, America, Mexico, Costa Rica, Northern Ireland, Spain. At 34, he is now back home and happy to share his new life adventures and experiences with you.”

Breifne also entered the 2014 World Cycle Race to spread the message “It’s OK not to feel OK” and won! He then went on to release his book Pedal The Planet in 2016.

[Read more…]

One of the biggest issues with parenting is not the stress that comes from parenting itself. Rather, it’s the difficulty that parents have coping with general life stresses that affect all men and women regardless of their family status. So, this is a very welcome guest post from author, Ryan Rivers.

Long-term stress is believed to be one of the key factors in anxiety development beyond genetics. As a working parent, you deal with minor amounts of stress every day. From trouble with your boss at work to worrying over the kids at home, there is a lot going on in your life and little time to find relief. After a while, that long-term stress can turn into an anxiety problem – an inability to control that anxiety even during days that are otherwise stress free.

While you may be a busy parent, dealing with your anxiety is incredibly important for your short and long-term mental health. Untreated anxiety has the potential to cause depression and significant emotional distress, and yet parents that stay too busy often have little time to control that distress. For those suffering from anxiety and don’t feel they have an opportunity to reduce it, consider the following tips for controlling your anxiety and improving your current overall wellness.

Anxiety Reduction Tips

1. Be “Selfish” – Parenting is about living for someone else. You want to be attentive, and always in the best mood to manage your child’s wellbeing. You need to be able to be kind, and attuned to your child’s needs. Unfortunately, stress has a way of altering emotions, and can make it much more difficult to be the parent you hope to be. That’s why, while you may feel “selfish,” finding some time to be alone and reduce your stress is actually in your child’s best interests. While you may feel like taking some time out to yourself means that you’re ignoring your child’s needs, the truth is that by finding that time to reduce your stress, you’ll have an easier time paying attention to your child and giving them the love and affection they deserve, because your mind won’t be scattered and your emotions won’t be fluctuating as a result of your anxiety.
2. Avoid Any Unhealthy Coping – Avoiding drugs and alcohol may seem like no-brainers for any good parent. But the key is to realise that even a small amount of any unhealthy coping habit in your spare time is problematic for your ability to deal with anxiety, as unhealthy coping strategies don’t help you recover from stress – they are simply a quick method to dull it. A large part of dealing with anxiety is simply overcoming your anxiousness with your mind – learning how to control your thoughts and emotions from becoming negative even when faced with a stressful situation. If you depend on unhealthy dulling strategies, then you will be less likely to overcome the stresses and may find that you depend on those coping strategies more and more in the future.
3. Fast Relaxation Tips – You’re on a busy schedule, so spending 5 hours in a local park is probably not possible. The good news is that there are rapid relaxation strategies that can help, such as progressive muscle relaxation, visualisation, and meditation. Deep breathing, another strategy, is likely the most time efficient and very effective. Deep breathing is when you sit with your back straight in a chair and breathe in 10 times slowly. Take about 5 seconds breathing in through your nose (fill your stomach first, not your chest), hold for 4 or so seconds, and then breathe out through pursed lips for about 7 seconds. Deep breathing calms the body by slowing down your breathing habits. It also re-trains your body to breathe more efficiently, something that is often necessary for those with anxiety.
4. Exercise – Always, always exercise, especially aerobic exercise. Running after your kids is not enough (although running with them is more than acceptable). Exercise genuinely creates a better mood, by releasing endorphins and burning away stress hormones. 30 minutes of running is great for your mental health in addition to your physical health, and most people can fit in 30 minutes of running into their busy schedule. If running isn’t a possibility, or you cannot find 30 minutes a day to exercise, try to fit in as much movement (whether it’s walking, lifting weights, etc.) into your day as possible. A body that’s moving is less likely to have as much tension.
5. Make Time to Socialise – Many people with busy schedules and active children feel that they can’t handle another person or two coming into their home, so they stop calling their friends and family. But some socialisation is crucial for maintaining good mental health, as social support has a strong ability to reduce anxiety symptoms. So even if it’s a bit stressful to have guests over or go over to someone else’s home with your children, try to find a way to be social. Video chat if you have to, or see if there are people you can talk to on the phone more often. The time you spend with people whose company you enjoy can be invaluable to your anxiety and wellness.

Maintaining Healthy Stress Levels

You should also consider seeing a counsellor if you feel your stress is out of control, and consider talking to your partner to ensure that you both receive healthy breaks from the stresses of the day. It’s important to remember that the best thing you can do for your mental health is care. Make sure that you do treat your anxiety as someone that’s worth fighting. Parents that can successfully manage their anxiety are better parents, because they are less prone to rapid emotional shifts, make better decisions, and are far more attentive to their children. Your mental health and happiness are genuinely important, and will help you raise your child in the best environment possible.