Coulda, Woulda, Shoulda

Resident guest author Tim, shares this wonderful piece with us about hindsight. Do you suffer from hindsight?


I suffer from hindsight.

I suffer from the amazing clarity of knowing what I ought to have done, what I might have done differently, what would have happened if only they had acted in a certain way and how happy, contented, well respected, wealthy I could have been. [Read more…]

What do I need from a community?

Resident guest author, Tim, gives his unique perspective on our differences, commonality and the importance of community.


Sometimes I need to be part of a community of folk just like me.

Only, since I am unique, and so is he, so is she, so are you, and so, most assuredly, is my M2F transgender cousin, and my other cousin who is camp as a row of tents and a nasty homophobic bigot, I have no idea what you and I have in common. And do I have anything in common with that list of folk? [Read more…]

I have always hated Christmas and the New Year

Tim, who has become our resident guest post author, explains why he has always hated Christmas, New Year and some other days.


I have always hated Christmas and the New Year…

I also hate my birthday.

I hate some other days, too.

Let me try to explain why.

When I was a child, before I was a teenager – indeed, up to and including my thirteenth birthday, all in my life was, at least outwardly, rosy. I had the wonder of childhood, was mostly unmolested by the demons of puberty, I had a safe home (though I had what I imagined were the usual rows with my parents) and I felt happy when both festivals arrived. I was given presents, some quite wonderful, others mundane. All was right with my juvenile world. Well, probably, anyway. [Read more…]

What is masculinity? Or, What is a boy?

This week’s guest contributor, Tim, writes eloquently about the impact of gender and discrimination; inviting us to think about “societal norms”.


What is masculinity? Or, what is a boy?

If we go simply by genitalia, the answer is clear. So, it seems, if we listen to the head of the Roman Catholic Church, peddlers of original sin, purgatory and the sale of Indulgences, is religion. Boy’s genitals, you are a boy, Girl’s? You are a girl.

It ain’t necessarily so.

If we go by toys, well, frankly, give me a break. Boys and girls have teddy bears (dolls), boys have (had?) Action Man (dolls), girls have dolls.

Ok, that fails. [Read more…]

How to Survive When Your Partner is Depressed

Current statistics claim that 4 to 10% of people in England will experience depression in their lifetime. On almost a weekly basis high-profile sufferers ‘come out’ and share their stories. Alistair Campbell, Ashley Judd, Lady Gaga – to name just a few. Sharing experiences of depression has become much less taboo.

But what if you live with a depression that isn’t your own? [Read more…]

How to Sleep Well for a Longer Life

Are you getting a regular, good night’s sleep?

Having spent almost two decades working 24/7 shifts, I understand only too well the impact this has on our health, relationships and our productivity in the workplace.  I also, wrote about this subject a few years ago as insufficient sleep is viewed as a common contributory factor for those suffering prolonged periods of depression, anxiety and relationship problems, including parenting. [Read more…]