3 Comments

  1. Tim

    I wonder, Bob. Is being afraid of your parents because of what they might say or do part of Childhood Emotional Neglect, of is it something different?

    I was afraid of mine because I discovered at 13 that I was not the happy little heterosexual I was expected to be. I knew my parents would have sought to have me cured. My certainty was confirmed by my mother before she died.

    I was raised as a china doll, a much loved one, but one who was shown no affection. It was the doll who was loved, not the boy who lived inside the china carapace.

    • In my opinion, Tim, yes – it certainly is.
      Anytime we cannot express ourselves we are inferring that we and our opinions and feelings matter less. Doubtless, Tim, your grandparents would have had some significant influence, as would their parents, and so on.

      • Tim

        I feel it was more like unwitting emotional abuse rather than neglect, however, I can see that those two concepts intersect to a substantial degree. The distinction I draw is to do with the known and feared outcome of speaking, rather than simply being unable to speak to attempt to have my needs met.

        The era was very different, the social mores were very different, but the little unformed human being, me, I was still the same

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