Author: Bob Brotchie

Childhood plays a crucial role in shaping our emotional, cognitive, and social development. However, when individuals experience arrested development during this period, their growth and maturation may be hindered, potentially leading to lasting effects on their relationships and self-esteem in later life. This article explores the concept of arrested development and its impact on individuals as they navigate adulthood.

Understanding Arrested Development

Arrested development refers to a condition where an individual’s emotional, psychological, or social development stagnates or fails to progress at the expected rate during childhood. This may occur due to various factors, such as trauma, neglect, dysfunctional family dynamics, or lack of adequate support systems. When a child’s developmental milestones are not adequately addressed, it can have far-reaching consequences in adulthood. [Read more…]

Introduction: Who goes to counselling and why?

Counselling plays a pivotal role in the mental health and wellbeing of individuals, offering support and guidance to those facing various challenges. In the United Kingdom, counselling services have become increasingly popular over the years as mental health awareness grows. This article explores the demographics of people who attend counselling in the UK and sheds light on the reasons why they seek such support. [Read more…]

Anger is a natural human emotion that we all experience from time to time. It can arise due to various triggers, such as frustration, injustice, or feeling threatened. While anger can be a valid response, it is essential to learn how to manage and reduce unnecessary anger. [Read more…]

In this post, there are some examples of cognitive distortions – unhelpful thinking styles that can cause us emotional distress and get in the way of taking positive action towards a happier and more balanced way of being.

Fact or Fiction?

Our thoughts can be very convincing. They can make us believe certain things are fact, when perhaps, the reality is quite different. Whilst our thoughts may not always be telling us the truth, they feel true and so we buy into them. We judge them to be rational and our subsequent behaviours are therefore deemed perfectly reasonable. For instance, we may think a friend is upset with us when they ignore us at a party and so we delete them as a contact or we may think, as we didn’t pass something first time, we’re bound to fail again, so we don’t bother trying. [Read more…]

Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD) is a neurodevelopmental disorder that affects individuals of all ages. It is characterized by persistent patterns of inattention, hyperactivity, and impulsivity.

ADHD is not a one-size-fits-all condition; there are different types that vary in symptoms and presentation. In this post, we will explore five types of ADHD and delve into the medications that can be used to manage its symptoms. Additionally, we will provide a link to a free online ADHD assessment that can help inform potential traits that can then be more fully explored with trained and appropriate medical professionals: [Read more…]

Today, we explore the uncomfortable feeling of resentment; what it is, what causes it and how it’s potentially harmful effects – physical, mental and emotional – can be avoided.

What is Resentment?

A pervasive feeling that creeps up on us when we feel we have been treated unfairly, resentment is an emotion that sits somewhere between anger and disappointment. As a stress inducing emotion, it can be damaging to us physically, as well as potentially being a highly destructive force within our significant relationships. Signs of resentment include being short-tempered, using passive-aggressive communication, having less empathy or emotionally withdrawing from the person we feel resentful towards. A variety of things can trigger resentment, but two key areas to explore are unfulfilled expectation and poor boundaries. [Read more…]

Here, in this latest post, we share a communication tool, taken from Dialectical Behavioural Therapy (DBT), that can be used when achieving an objective in an interpersonal interaction is required.

For some of us, the prospect of raising an issue or asserting ourselves within our relationships with our partners, friends, colleagues or employers can feel very daunting. Below is an example of ‘DEAR MAN’, a tool that forms part of DBT’s ‘Interpersonal Effectiveness’ skill, that can be used when you would like to obtain an objective in an interaction with another whilst being respectful to both yourself and the other person.

The acronym ‘DEAR’ refers to what you say and ‘MAN’ refers to how to say it. [Read more…]

The impact of poor sleep on our health and wellbeing is significant and far-reaching. When we’re unable to  get enough quality sleep, it can lead to physical, mental and emotional problems. Here are a few of the ways poor sleep can affect us, and some tips to help us alleviate poor sleep-quality: [Read more…]

In this post, Penni takes a look at how healing from Childhood Emotional Neglect (CEN) can begin by reconnecting to emotions with compassionate curiosity, uncovering the cause of those feelings and deciding thoughtfully how to act upon them.

If emotions aren’t validated in childhood, the result is a walling off of our emotional world that continues into adulthood. Being disconnected from our emotions due to CEN (Childhood Emotional Neglect) means being unable to access a wealth of information – messages – that guide and inform us and help us to lead the life that is best for our own, unique needs. If we have become walled off from our feelings, it can be hard to know just how we feel, or what exactly to do with those feelings. [Read more…]

Transactional Analysis (TA) is a theory of psychology and psychotherapy that was developed by Eric Berne in the 1950s. It is based on the idea that individuals have three ego states – Parent, Adult, and Child – that interact with one another in transactions, or social exchanges. These transactions are thought to shape our behaviour and emotions in significant ways. [Read more…]