Anger… is a natural and healthy emotion.
However, just like stress, anxiety, or low moods – it needs to be in moderation. When it manifests and continues repetitively and consistently, this may demonstrate a more significant challenge to be explored.
Conversely, failing to allow anger to surface can be harmful.
If you consider the word, and term, depression – it is to depress ones feelings, and generally – this is unhelpful!
So how do we differentiate?
How reasonable was the anger felt? If someone was behaving unreasonably, and that view was shared by most others, then clearly that is understandable. Each day, are you ‘losing it’? How often are you regretting your actions – as a direct result of getting angry? How often are situations or other people ‘failing’ to reach your expectations?
If we are ‘guilty’ of inappropriate displays of feelings of anger, why does this happen? An in-exhaustive number of reasons are:
- Fatigue – when we fail to take care of ourselves, we often have less tolerance and resilience.
- Fear – we may have appropriate or inappropriate fears and anxiety. Did these come from our past, and are these cognitions to stimuli relevant today (e.g. childhood experiences)?
- External influences – loss of control, changes in life, work, and relationships.
Actions to Remedy
Reversing some or all of the causal stimuli can result in more appropriate responses. Consider:
- How much of any day is just for you?
- Talking about your fears and anxieties. Do you get angry because you fear the childhood admonishment?
- Reasons and possibilities why others are seen by you to behave inappropriately.
We often seem to believe we are who we are – and forever! Is this true? You can challenge your belief system for the positive, if it is producing unwanted daily emotions.
You can write or call for your personal and impartial guidance today – and realise your true self. Tour my website or visit the collaborative community LeanOnUs where you can see the various resources provided.
Bob Brotchie is a counsellor, mindset consultant and creator of "Conscious Living by Design"™. He writes for Anglia Counselling, is featured on various other websites and introduces us to many guest writers all covering topics related to mental health and wellbeing.
Bob provides bespoke counselling services to individuals and couples in the privacy and comfort of a truly welcoming environment at his Anglia Counselling company office, located near Newmarket in Suffolk, England. Bob also provides professional online counselling, for local, national, and international clients. The therapeutic models offered are bespoke to the client’s needs, especially those in receipt of 'childhood emotional neglect' (CEN), whilst integrating a mindful approach to psychotherapy and cognitive behaviour therapy (CBT) principles. For clients experiencing trauma and/or phobia, Bob offers EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitisation and Reprocessing).