I tend to use metaphors quite a lot with clients, and here is another, linked to a question I ask within the initial registration and assessment of clients I meet for counselling services. Do you experience mind-chatter?
Do YOU Suffer with Mind-Chatter?
Commonly known as ‘monkey-mind‘, mind-chatter refers to the incessant ‘noise’ so many of us are plagued by. Turbulent thoughts about the past and future, full of judgements, recriminations, and negativity. Wouldn’t it be something if our minds were full of fun chatter, littered with positive affirmations?
Many clients answer “yes” to having a monkey-mind.
This state of mind feels, they say, as if it is unavoidable. They have no control over it. It disturbs concentration at work, and sleep is difficult to find or maintain.
One day rolls into another; a seemingly ‘hamster-wheel‘ kind of existence!
Turning the Key
To unlock the metaphorical door, we have to first become aware of our thoughts ‘knocking’. Yes, sure, we can all know that the busy head is happening, but that’s not enough. To open that door we have to listen to what is being said , not just be aware of the discomfort.
The discomfort and related stress, or dis-stress are symptoms and emotions of the turbulence. To calm those waters, we need to empty the bucket. (Oh God, there’s another couple!)
We need to learn that it can be safe to stop and just ‘be’, even for just short periods of time each day. For most of us our safety seeking behaviours mean we must keep busy rather than face our thoughts.
Open the Door – UNLOCK IT!
The look of horror on clients faces when I ask them to consider “what would it be like to come home, sit down undisturbed by people, TV, radio, and just ‘be’?”
Take off Your Serious Hat
It’s true that we may need to re-learn how to engage with ourselves, to be reflective – with compassion. It’s also true we have the ability to return to that less-conditioned state where, as children, we were less concerned with past events.
And future-thinking? This is very limited for kids, they just love to be here, now – the only place we can ever really be and truly exist.
Do you need guidance to get back to ‘being’, rather than ‘doing’?
Anxiety and stress-related conditions are not a birthright! Neither is depression. We have all ‘learned’ to become who we are today, or at least, how we are – behaviourally.
It’s never too late to return to a state that allows you to rest and relax with fun and contentedness. To focus on work and relationships as if they were being experienced on that very first day. But you do have to start, and to do that…
Drop me a line, re-learn to become more mindful once again.
The door IS open! (that’s not a metaphor)
Bob Brotchie is a counsellor, mindset consultant and creator of Conscious Living by Design™. He writes for Anglia Counselling, is featured on various other websites and introduces us to many guest writers all covering topics related to mental health and wellbeing.
Bob provides bespoke counselling services to clients in the privacy and comfort of a truly welcoming environment at his Anglia Counselling company office, located near Newmarket in Suffolk, England. Bob also provides professional online counselling, for local, national, and international clients. The therapeutic models offered are bespoke to the client’s needs, especially those in receipt of 'childhood emotional neglect' (CEN), whilst integrating a mindful approach to psychotherapy and cognitive behaviour therapy (CBT) principles. For clients experiencing trauma and/or phobia, Bob offers EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitisation and Reprocessing).