Because even if I do have challenges (and don’t we all), I don’t want to be considered a failure. It’s not like I’m sick! (Psst! You don’t need to be ill to gain new perspectives.) The cultural shift is under way. People ARE becoming more comfortable engaging a counsellor because the psychological wellbeing knowledge base is growing. IT’s out there!
Emptying the (Emotional) Bucket
Society is recognising the value of ‘unloading’ and exploring with a trusted person outside of the usual circles of influence. Better still, there are no judgements and there is no requirement to feel a ‘failure’. It’s today’s human condition to seek redress from that which makes us feel stressed, anxious, or depressed.
We have naturally evolved to move towards pleasure and away from pain! Yet still we stay with pain!
Even (Especially) Celebrities Struggle at Times
Unless you’ve had your head in the sand, you will know every day an article is printed in the popular press or posted online another celebrity has shared their challenges. So…
Is it Safe Yet?
Will I be judged or thought of as a loser, a failure or worse? Do you consider Richard Branson or Alan Sugar, Bill Gates or your country leaders (okay, perhaps not politicians) ‘failures’? Because these and so many more besides have and enjoy the perspectives confidantes give them to stay at the top, and to enjoy it too!
So, You’re Not a Celeb
Excellent, you qualify! No one is more important that YOU! Ask yourself the following:
- Am I living each day with equanimity? That is, can I take the positives equally with the not so good?
- Do I have plenty of resilience to ‘bounce back’ whenever I fall or my expectations are unmet?
- Do I enjoy great sleep, diet, relationships, productivity, play and overall health in mind and body?
Thought not! So, when would be useful to engage a counsellor? Before whatever is bothering you, day and night, became routine!
My Story – Today
I myself have sought guidance from various counsellors and therapists over the decades. Yes, me – a counsellor himself. You see, you’ll find a large number of therapists are individuals who have themselves ‘walked the fires’. Most will readily share that having overcome their challenges and learned new ways of ‘being’, it would be a shame to keep it to ourselves!
And yet… even these days I still engage with not only a professional mentor but a wonderful counsellor too! Not because I am ‘ill’ (though it would be hugely useful were I ever were to become so again) but because I truly derive benefit from the perspectives of another skilled and compassionate individual who is outside of my usual daily contacts. And because of this:
- I find hope in situations that appear hopeless.
- I find another level of wellbeing previously felt unobtainable.
- I can find peace in the presence of someone I know is truly in my corner, unconditionally.
Get Over the Conditioning
We only need to learn that it is safe, it isn’t a failure, and it is wonderfully empowering to share with another who is impartial and kind and non-judgemental. There is none of the usual ‘payback’ associated with so many of our everyday discussions. So, I meet clients who are facing short-term and longer-term mental health challenges, such as those found with anxiety, stress and depression, and those who are struggling with work and relationships with partners or family.
The Long and Short of it All
Some challenges are acute; powerfully present for a few shorts weeks and these are particularly amenable to rapid resolution once emotions are managed better and a more reasoned perspective is once again available. Other challenges will reach some level of resolution over weeks and months, occasionally years!
It is truly never too late for a better ‘you’.
Whatever your experience, it really is never too late to enjoy the benefits of impartial guidance and the opportunity to explore the real you and what drives you to think, behave and do whatever it is you do.
Don’t let stigma win. Talk it out, what ‘it’ is!
Bob Brotchie is a counsellor, mindset consultant and creator of "Conscious Living by Design"™. He writes for Anglia Counselling, is featured on various other websites and introduces us to many guest writers all covering topics related to mental health and wellbeing.
Bob provides bespoke counselling services to individuals and couples in the privacy and comfort of a truly welcoming environment at his Anglia Counselling company office, located near Newmarket in Suffolk, England. Bob also provides professional online counselling, for local, national, and international clients. The therapeutic models offered are bespoke to the client’s needs, especially those in receipt of 'childhood emotional neglect' (CEN), whilst integrating a mindful approach to psychotherapy and cognitive behaviour therapy (CBT) principles. For clients experiencing trauma and/or phobia, Bob offers EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitisation and Reprocessing).