1. Informative article as always Bob!

    I’m finding it a bit of a leap to how when I acknowledge it, without any judgement, and continue with what I should be doing, that this is a self-soothing technique.

    Could you elaborate a bit more on that?

    I think where my HEAD is on this is one of the major ways we learn self-soothing is based on how our mother responded to us. If our mother acknowledged our pain without any judgement, and then focused on something else, would that be soothing to us?

    I’m not sure it would be soothing to me and that’s why I am questioning the idea of this being self-soothing.

    Looking forward to hearing more on this from you.

    • Thank you, Trish. A very good question

      I think it is important we have our own ‘take’ on this, but for me and from how I have learned; when I have ‘toothache’, as an example, I can easily get caught up in what this means via my inner-dialogue. But when I acknowledge (recognise consciously) I have toothache – without a running script of negative judgements, then I can know there is nothing more to do and let go of the focus of attention on that toothache. Then, the pain reduces as I go about my business.

      I haven’t ignored the pain, so the pain message is acknowledge within the higher centres of the brain – allowing the information to be processed, along with any re-cognitions about what this may mean to the host organism (us), such as an incorrect message that we’re under greater threat than the reality.
      If we fail to acknowledge the pain for what it is, rather than what is has been in the past in comparing it to other perceived negative events, then the pain – and what becomes the associated misery (judgement) compounds the ‘event’. Now I not only have a toothache, I have emotional misery too! A bit like the saying around forgiveness and letting go of our thoughts about those who have hurt us –

      “drinking the poison – expecting the other to die”

      It serves us little to hold our pain if there is nothing to do with it in that moment – and we are failing then to appreciate what IS working and well – whilst giving less attention to what we are supposed to be doing.

      The “self-soothing” is by way of accurately assessing the issue. When we adopt a ‘present’ moment awareness of what is, and what isn’t, we will find much less emotional turbulence, building as a result our resilience and trust in the impermanence of life, knowing that all passes, whether we judge it or not!

      I hope that rather long-winded explanation gives some perspective, based on my experiences, Trish. Thank you once again.

      Peace and love.


      • I thought your answer covered it well and now it makes sense how it can be an approach to self-soothing. It gives me another tool that I hadn’t considered before when I need that type of soothing. xoxo

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