Many engage and embrace the challenges of life, work, and play each and every day. We may bemoan our lot at times (that’s only natural) but we get on with it and do what needs to be done.
This works well and it is only when we are challenged beyond ‘normal’ limits that we are pushed further. Our minds and bodies are resilient however and we may sustain the level of effort required for significant periods, years even. This is however, not to be confused with coping as we understand it.
Coping suggests all is well!
Coping needs to be in context – to get over a hurdle; through a relatively brief challenge such as job loss, relationship disturbance, or bereavement through loss of life or loss of function, yours, or someone you care for. What coping is not, is a substitute for balanced and nourishing mental, emotional, or physical health – in the longer term.
If we rely on coping, we may be failing to address the reasons for coping!
Clearly not everything in our life is within our circle of control or influence. So what are the options? A business analogy is that when you enjoy your work, it really doesn’t feel like work. To really have the resilience built up for those times when we need to cope and be anything but overwhelmed, we need enough rest, exercise, nourishing food and time away from that which requires our best.
Typically, the more challenged we are by something, the more attention we give it!
This is okay if, because of that attention, we change the dynamics to make the situation more digestible. However, do we always look to work or play smarter and to make things easier and more sustainable? Sadly not, and the legacy of this is that not only do we become worn down, we are less tolerant of others needs, we can become less creative, and miss more opportunities to introduce quality elements into our lives – and of those around us.
In business as in ourselves, we can be ‘too close’ to see situations for what they sometimes really are. There may be financial, relationship, or health related issues that impact on our ability to be kind to ourselves leaving us less able to demonstrate the best for those around us. So how might we improve on the status-quo?
Take time out from what you know. Establish relaxation in your life, something most of us have become conditioned to find difficult. But help is available; we can help you establish meditation in your life, if that is something you want. From being able to operate from relaxed states to the ability to sleep soundly, waking rested and refreshed, starting the day how you want it to continue. These and many other aspects are available to us all by a number of different yet complementary practices which can be taught and learned in a short time. That short time investment will bring lifelong benefits if you choose to open your mind and practise for even a few minutes a day, leaving you with renewed vigour to deal effectively, creatively and compassionately with the challenges that come your way.
Choose to be the best you can be for you first, and others will benefit too.
Bob Brotchie is a counsellor, mindset consultant and creator of "Conscious Living by Design"™. He writes for Anglia Counselling, is featured on various other websites and introduces us to many guest writers all covering topics related to mental health and wellbeing.
Bob provides bespoke counselling services to individuals and couples in the privacy and comfort of a truly welcoming environment at his Anglia Counselling company office, located near Newmarket in Suffolk, England. Bob also provides professional online counselling, for local, national, and international clients. The therapeutic models offered are bespoke to the client’s needs, especially those in receipt of 'childhood emotional neglect' (CEN), whilst integrating a mindful approach to psychotherapy and cognitive behaviour therapy (CBT) principles. For clients experiencing trauma and/or phobia, Bob offers EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitisation and Reprocessing).