What would I be afraid of if I didn’t have a past? Very little, in reality! Because living in this moment, aware of that which is present – in the here and now, and which you can see, taste, smell, hear and touch, the past can be left where it belongs, along with the often inappropriate re-actions to this moment’s events.
Try to imagine what it might be like to be introduced to ‘you’.
Might you ‘see’ someone without judgement? Might you provide ‘you’ the benefit of the doubt and accept you for whom you are – in this moment? Someone who hasn’t been conditioned to respond the way you do to an aggressive comment – in a way that comes from your childhood, your formative years…
Might you ‘see’ someone who appears confident, without a care, at peace with themselves and who offers no threat? Someone who appears loving, who listens and who is valued, loved and good enough?
Our emotional conditioning provides responses that no longer serve us. If we have been hurt (and who hasn’t?) in any relationship, be it at home, at work – we often put up a barrier, something contrived, to ‘protect’ us! But then this means just a small but significant part of you is no longer the real you. It is a new persona, a frightened, anxious person – who may become withdrawn or aggressive in relationships, new and existing.
Is that who you want to be?
Responding appropriately to that which you see in this moment provides for clarity of thought and action. You will always have access to the memories stored away that provide a safety net for areas of danger, risk or other threat, but by living in the only place you really can be, in the here and now, you will reduce conflict, anxiety – and become more aware of opportunities to observe for the things, including relationships, that you really want.
You can clear the emotional way, you can clear the clutter!
If you would like to be introduced to the real you, get in touch.
Bob Brotchie is a counsellor, mindset consultant and creator of "Conscious Living by Design"™. He writes for Anglia Counselling, is featured on various other websites and introduces us to many guest writers all covering topics related to mental health and wellbeing.
Bob provides bespoke counselling services to individuals and couples in the privacy and comfort of a truly welcoming environment at his Anglia Counselling company office, located near Newmarket in Suffolk, England. Bob also provides professional online counselling, for local, national, and international clients. The therapeutic models offered are bespoke to the client’s needs, especially those in receipt of 'childhood emotional neglect' (CEN), whilst integrating a mindful approach to psychotherapy and cognitive behaviour therapy (CBT) principles. For clients experiencing trauma and/or phobia, Bob offers EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitisation and Reprocessing).