An age old challenge for society and for couples – or colleagues in the workplace – is the business of relationships. We are all different, of course, having been exposed and influenced through our lives by various experiences. Put two or more different people together and, at some stage or another, something is likely to give.
A key component to relationships working is the ability to communicate effectively with each other. It’s interesting to draw the parallels between how we behaved and interacted when we first met our partners, or colleagues, how courteous and considerate we probably were, and how many of us become in later months and years.
Hold that thought!
Do you now come anywhere close to communicating today with how you once did?
Of course not, we take our eye off the ball, take each other for granted and regard everything else as more important. But is it?
How much more content might you and those around you be if you relearned how to engage with each other again? But it’s not that simple, and it’s pointless blaming ‘the other side’, because it really does take two! Communications are important, and so are ‘understanding’ and ‘expectations’. Learning how the ‘other’ side thinks and might ‘feel’ about things may uncover why they react the way they do.
The female of the species may want to talk immediately about a problem that has arisen. The male will as likely as not want to retreat to his cave, metaphorically speaking, to calm down and consider the possibilities to resolve the problem. When neither is afforded the opportunity to re-examine how they are often programmed to do as they do, arguments and ill feelings erupt. Then communication may be lost, apart from the other negative stuff unleashed.
This is just a snapshot of some of the reasons why we do what we do. But we needn’t stop there and do nothing. Help is available through relationship therapy and counselling.
Bob Brotchie is a counsellor, mindset consultant and creator of "Conscious Living by Design"™. He writes for Anglia Counselling, is featured on various other websites and introduces us to many guest writers all covering topics related to mental health and wellbeing.
Bob provides bespoke counselling services to individuals and couples in the privacy and comfort of a truly welcoming environment at his Anglia Counselling company office, located near Newmarket in Suffolk, England. Bob also provides professional online counselling, for local, national, and international clients. The therapeutic models offered are bespoke to the client’s needs, especially those in receipt of 'childhood emotional neglect' (CEN), whilst integrating a mindful approach to psychotherapy and cognitive behaviour therapy (CBT) principles. For clients experiencing trauma and/or phobia, Bob offers EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitisation and Reprocessing).