1. Ann Hawkins

    There is a reason that airline safety instructions say: “Always put the oxygen mask on yourself before helping other people” If you don’t take care of yourself you end up being a liability to other people. Self care is crucial, both physically and mentally.

  2. Tim

    I was chatting to a chap the other day. He is not selfish enough to say ‘no’. This means that his workload is enormous, and his boss has no feedback to say that he is under huge stress because he is failing to cope.

    Were he to tell his boss he is overworked, then the boss would have the chance to bid for more resources. Perhaps the boss, too, is overworked. He needs to be given the chance to say ‘no’ to more and more work, the work he delegates to my chap.

    Being genuinely selfish is helpful, the more so if the selfishness is delivered with consideration for others. There’s a huge difference between yelling, “NO! I am overworked, can’t you see it, you idiot!” and “If I take this task on I will be entirely unable to do it in the time you need it. I’ll do it, of course I will, but I need you to help me re-prioritise my other tasks. Something has to give and there aren’t enough hours in the day. Help me with this, please?”

    Each of those delivers the message that more work is impossible. One of them means both people win. Sure, the work suffers, but it was doing that anyway.

    • Hi Tim, and thank you for providing another clear example of how we can be positively selfish – without detriment to others. In fact, as you allude, it offers potential growth in a number of ways. Thanks so much for dropping by with such excellent points.

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