Heal the Past for a Better Now
Why do we need to revisit painful times to find a better today? Is it truly necessary?
After all, we might open a ‘can of worms’!
Barriers to Counselling
Clients, and potential clients, frequently cite this barrier to moving forward from today’s emotional triggers as those very experiences and teachings being the source. Naturally, to bring these out into the ‘open’ confirms they once existed; and who would want to go back there?
Meet a Gorilla! (It’ll become clear!)
How much can we do for ourselves?
From my own experience of working with my own healing, I think it is truly necessary to entrust in a collaborative and therapeutic relationship. My training signposts me this way too.
Until a few short years ago I believed I would be the only person who could resolve the emotional triggers that were interfering in my domestic and work life. It was true that I made significant progress into the pains, but it wasn’t until I found someone who ‘got me’, and who had the genuine skills to move me through the past, healing as we progressed, that I came to understand the new narrative that could become my reality.
Emotional Triggers
Before we can begin to work on identifying emotional triggers, we have to learn to slow down and become aware of the arrival of emotions. It’s fairly easy for most of us to reflect on that which we regret after the event! Here are five common emotions we would sooner have less of:
- Anger
- Sadness
- Anxiety
- Stress
- Panic
How long and how often?
A key moment for many around when to engage in a counselling relationship is often the realisation that “things got bad enough”, either for themselves – or via a loved one. Yet, if we begin this process earlier, the time taken to re-establish emotional balance is often shorter.
If you’re experiencing unpleasant and repetitive emotions for more than a few weeks, and especially if these interfere with sleep, moods, relationships and diet, then it’s time to talk! For many of us, the emotions that are susceptible to triggers have been with us for years!
Is it ever too late?
Great news! No, it really is never too late to seek to heal from your past, to re-write the points of reference for your cognitive mind so often making mistakes in it’s efforts to protect us. Think you know your mind? Watch this short video…
Scary, right? (Not just the Gorilla and his voice, ugh!) There is probably enough in this short video to provoke or trigger something emotional! Did you notice anything?
Planes, trains and… dogs!
Whether you experienced a dog scowling, or worse, as a child, or have a fear of flying, social interactions, or difficulties in a relationship – perhaps parenting issues – you can be assured any dysfunction is arising from your past and from a time when it may well have been reasonable to experience the emotions, the flight, fight, play dead survival instinct, or, to be reminded what parents and others do!
You CAN re-write and heal your past.
…and although it’s a tough, courageous period of focus and exploration, the joy felt when leaving it, and the satisfaction when ‘others’ notice ‘something different’ (in a positive way) about you makes it all worthwhile.
Have you had enough of believing this is how it’s always going to be?
Bob Brotchie is a counsellor, mindset consultant and creator of "Conscious Living by Design"™. He writes for Anglia Counselling, is featured on various other websites and introduces us to many guest writers all covering topics related to mental health and wellbeing.
Bob provides bespoke counselling services to individuals and couples in the privacy and comfort of a truly welcoming environment at his Anglia Counselling company office, located near Newmarket in Suffolk, England. Bob also provides professional online counselling, for local, national, and international clients. The therapeutic models offered are bespoke to the client’s needs, especially those in receipt of 'childhood emotional neglect' (CEN), whilst integrating a mindful approach to psychotherapy and cognitive behaviour therapy (CBT) principles. For clients experiencing trauma and/or phobia, Bob offers EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitisation and Reprocessing).