Just let go!
But that doesn’t fit in with what we’ve always been taught, does it?
Keep going, or else!
If you don’t succeed, try, try and try again!
You’ll never be any good if you don’t make this work!
Oh there… I failed!
Sometimes, we need to give up!
What a load of nonsense!
That’s right, you read THAT right!
But it’s usually hard to give up, right?
Let’s look at ‘giving up’ in some different contexts:
- I gave up smoking many years ago, and I still recall just how difficult that was!
- I gave up playing competitive sport for career pursuits – that was tough!
- I gave up dating – well, I did get married after all! 🙂
But here is what I really want to share. How giving up make you more of a success:
- Are you holding on to a relationship that, frankly, stinks?
- Are you going to a job each day, week after week, year after year and suffering an existence at best?
- Perhaps you’re a business owner, an entrepreneur struggling to make revenue?
Let’s start with your relationship. How long have you been ‘trying to make it work’ – and why? Have you exhausted the available possibilities to rectify what is wrong in the relationship? Then surely, if it was going to make you both content and happy, you both would be by now?
Why do we keep on living a daily grind in an unhappy relationship?
Because, we are brought up to believe that if we don’t keep going we are a failure. (By the way, society and various cultures haven’t put a time definition on when it might be okay to release you both from a torturous existence!)
…and perhaps because we don’t value ourselves enough.
We also cannot begin to imagine what the change would look like if we were ever to face the issues square on – and decide to separate.
I know, I’ve certainly been there!
…and I also live the life and struggles as a former employee and now business owner. It’s also the same for my entrepreneurial and innovative spirit. Sometimes, I just have to let go!
…or, I can wait, wait for something to improve, hope that positive, uplifting change will occur as a reward for my tenacity! Blah, really?
Ask most people who have moved from a position in a relationship, or work endeavour, that just isn’t paying off whether they regret their decision to let go and I am confident they will answer the same as me.
What the hell was I waiting for?
If you don’t eventually let go, change cannot be realised as a result of your empowered action and choice. I used to hold on to being anxious and I decided that wasn’t great. I found the answers, built my trust in myself and once I had enough knowledge – I was able to safely ‘let go’ of most of that too!
The vast majority of individuals I meet simply need to know it IS safe to let go – and they gather that opinion because they explore and learn where they are now, who they were – and who and where they would most like to be. It is YOU who can change your life but you must first take back control of your life’s steering wheel – or, leave your ultimate happiness and contentment in the hands of those outside of you.
Now that would be daft!
Bob Brotchie is a counsellor, mindset consultant and creator of "Conscious Living by Design"™. He writes for Anglia Counselling, is featured on various other websites and introduces us to many guest writers all covering topics related to mental health and wellbeing.
Bob provides bespoke counselling services to individuals and couples in the privacy and comfort of a truly welcoming environment at his Anglia Counselling company office, located near Newmarket in Suffolk, England. Bob also provides professional online counselling, for local, national, and international clients. The therapeutic models offered are bespoke to the client’s needs, especially those in receipt of 'childhood emotional neglect' (CEN), whilst integrating a mindful approach to psychotherapy and cognitive behaviour therapy (CBT) principles. For clients experiencing trauma and/or phobia, Bob offers EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitisation and Reprocessing).