Tom and Sarah are fictitious, but their stories are typical and anything but!
Tom is fed up with what he describes as “the clingies”. Tom says: “The girls I get are always possessive, trying to keep me under their thumb, watching my every move and expecting me to justify myself all the time… and then they prefer to believe I’m lying. I just want a girl I can have fun with, who can relax and trust me! Is that too much to ask?”
Sarah is sick of getting the guys that emotionally and, sometimes, she admits, physically “…beat up on me. Why do I always seem to attract those?”
We can cite many more similar stories of relationships that are unlikely to be nourishing nor stand the test of time. When we’re seeking that next relationship, whatever our sexual orientation, we are sometimes at our most vulnerable in emotional terms. We are perhaps rarely at any other time more self-critical and introspective as when we are trying to attract a new partner.
Our minds are full of the last relationship, the pain and heartache… as well as the good times, the sense of belonging, routines and ‘safety’. We felt included and wanted, however good or unpleasant the partnership.
Who we choose as a partner is, more often than not, directly attributable to our formative years, the experiences we had then and have had since. We are often attracted to, and stay in, certain unhealthy relationships, at great personal emotional and mental health sacrifice, because it is something your subconscious can relate to and can make sense of.
So is that all then? NO. Sorry!
The past was all about ‘you’. The next stage, in the equation, is all around your potential significant other. Whilst you may not want, or wish, to try and change another person, you can afford yourself the knowledge and reflection time to understand and comprehend why they are the way they are.
Are you looking for that next partner in life? Secure your exclusive, and private, 2 hours with me and give yourself the emotional intelligence to understand who your next partner should be and why. Give yourself the power to understand why you and others behave and react in the way they do for a one-off and inclusive low fee and to receive your personal private report. Get in touch now!
Bob Brotchie is a counsellor, mindset consultant and creator of "Conscious Living by Design"™. He writes for Anglia Counselling, is featured on various other websites and introduces us to many guest writers all covering topics related to mental health and wellbeing.
Bob provides bespoke counselling services to individuals and couples in the privacy and comfort of a truly welcoming environment at his Anglia Counselling company office, located near Newmarket in Suffolk, England. Bob also provides professional online counselling, for local, national, and international clients. The therapeutic models offered are bespoke to the client’s needs, especially those in receipt of 'childhood emotional neglect' (CEN), whilst integrating a mindful approach to psychotherapy and cognitive behaviour therapy (CBT) principles. For clients experiencing trauma and/or phobia, Bob offers EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitisation and Reprocessing).