6 Reasons Why Humans Seek to Control
In this post, Penni explores some of the reasons why humans have a need to control. Understanding what may be underlying a need to control can be a helpful starting point for those who wish to practice controlling less and letting go more – or the opposite!
Humans are biologically hard-wired to seek control over their environment. From an evolutionary perspective, being able to have some control over what was an unpredictable environment created a sense of safety through the reduction of uncertainty. This instinct for control was critical for survival and therefore the continuation of the species. The human landscape has changed significantly but this instinct to be in control remains. There are 6 reasons why – and they’re not all bad!
Meaning and Purpose
Having a sense of control over certain aspects of life can help humans feel like they are living in an authentic way. Control can help shape the environment so that it aligns with an individuals’ values and goals. Control in this context can give rise to feelings of fulfilment, self-agency and volition – ticking off a couple of the human fundamental emotional needs.
Dopamine
When humans feel in control, their brain’s reward system is activated and responds with the release of the neurotransmitter dopamine. Dopamine is associated with pleasure and satisfaction. The brains’ response to feeling in control – this feels good – is remembered and therefore reinforces the desire for control.
Fear of Failure
For those who have perfectionistic tendencies, controlling processes can feel essential to achieving a perfect outcome. This kind of control, which generally includes our actions, decisions and possibly even other people, creates a sense of safety– if everything is under control, mistakes can be avoided and therefore self-esteem and self-worth is protected.
Being in control can help humans avoid uncomfortable emotions
Conditioning
Growing up in an environment where being in control of emotions, behaviours and the environment are valued can result in the belief that this is a sign of strength. Many cultures too, value control, particularly in the context of leadership and success. As control is sometimes linked to power, humans may exert control over others in an attempt to get their needs met.
Coping Mechanism
Being unable to tolerate uncertainty can lead humans to attempt to control situations and their outcomes, perhaps within the environment or their relationships. This type of control is a safety behaviour; a way to cope with, or avoid, feelings of anxiety, vulnerability, powerlessness or disappointment.
Structure
Routine and order can be comforting. Control allows humans to create structure to help manage day to day tasks, time and responsibilities. Exercising control over certain aspects of life can give a sense of achievement and can be rewarding, particularly when striving towards a personal or professional goal.
Our Services
Our posts are created to provide useful and supportive information, covering a variety of relevant topics. If anything you have read here resonates and you would like to explore working one-to-one with either Bob Brotchie or Penni Osborn, please do get in touch.
Our therapy rooms in Kentford, Newmarket, Suffolk CB8 are a comfortable and judgment-free place to meet where we offer warm, confidential counselling and therapy support. If you are unable to meet in person, we can offer the same service online, anywhere in the world, via secure platforms such as Zoom or Google Meet. Together, we can talk things through and find solutions to problems and relief from difficult emotions that may be getting in the way of a peaceful and meaningful life.
If you’d like to know more, visit our FAQ or contact us for an informal chat – without obligation – to see how we may be able to help.
