Are you content right now and does this last for you? What’s in your way?And that is a fundamental point: We do a lot of that ‘wishing’!
Content? Ah, I wish!
- I wish I had the car I want. (I’d be content with that!)
- I can’t wait to get that promotion – or new job. (I’ll be happy and content then)
- I’ll be glad when this hour/day/week/year is over!
- It’ll be alright when…
Of course, having aspirations is a great thing, but basing our future happiness on anything; especially that which is available ‘outside’ of us – is a fools errand! How often have you achieved an aspiration, only to immediately start over with another?
Why wait to achieve some material possession, or position in society, to be content? We have plenty to find and recognise to help us realise a greater level of contentedness!
Considering the points below, we can choose a healthier, more content way of being!
What will ultimately define our thoughts about the life we had will be around what we felt ‘inside’ …anything else will simply be component parts of a life lived
Touching on just three aspects below, how we find – or let slip a less than contented state of mind.
A reason cited by clients within individual or couples therapy – for discontent – is the quality of relationships with a spouse / or within the family.
We can easily become imprisoned, believing ourselves to be victims of some injustice over which we have little choice or control.
But is this really true?
We ALWAYS have a choice.
Even in cases of actual captivity, prisoners can choose whether to ‘think‘ and ‘feel’ ‘imprisoned’!
We can ask ourselves…
- Is the spouse or family member behaving differently from how they used to be?
- Are our expectations of them realistic?
- Is it our expectations not being met causing our pain?
- Are we communicating with each other in a way that is open, respectful and with clarity?
- Do we need to maintain this relationship?
- Do we have enough income to support our most basic needs?
- Are we spending on ‘things’ in an attempt to find contentedness?
- Will a new job/position – of higher responsibility and stress really provide what we want?
- Can we be satisfied and grateful for the health we currently have?
- What are we basing our expectations on for just how our health ‘should‘ be?
- Are we truly living and thinking in a way that is helpful to our health?
- Do we have any choice in what we can achieve; can we accept what we have – if limited?
Resetting our perceptual filters
Much of the work in counselling involves exploring these points above, among others, in a way that is impartial and without judgement. Much of our discontent can be reduced simply by re-learning some fresh objectivity – and context.
The marketers, the media and daily news will have us believe we are powerless in the face of global terror, criminality, financial meltdown and pandemic health issues – to name but a few.
As an exercise, consider trying a ‘news fast’ – or even reducing the amount of news heard or viewed within each hour and day.
BUY NOW, A MUST HAVE – YOU’LL BE NOTHING WITHOUT – OUR PERPETUAL SALES MUST END…
We have much. We often have more than enough.
What truly brings contentedness is anywhere but outside of us. Be content with you, you’ll want for less.
A ‘mindful’ counsellor can guide you in this way.
Bob Brotchie is a counsellor, mindset consultant and creator of "Conscious Living by Design"™. He writes for Anglia Counselling, is featured on various other websites and introduces us to many guest writers all covering topics related to mental health and wellbeing.
Bob provides bespoke counselling services to individuals and couples in the privacy and comfort of a truly welcoming environment at his Anglia Counselling company office, located near Newmarket in Suffolk, England. Bob also provides professional online counselling, for local, national, and international clients. The therapeutic models offered are bespoke to the client’s needs, especially those in receipt of 'childhood emotional neglect' (CEN), whilst integrating a mindful approach to psychotherapy and cognitive behaviour therapy (CBT) principles. For clients experiencing trauma and/or phobia, Bob offers EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitisation and Reprocessing).