This year, last year, and all the years before have provided us experiences of pain, pleasure, and necessary neutrality. Every meaningful experience of our past will likely trigger an emotional state for this present time. However, what we make of these triggers is very much up to us.
If we judge past experiences negatively or positively, then they will quickly feel present once again – and to some degree this is inevitable. The song plays somewhere in the distant and we’re transported back to that meaningful moment with emotions in tow. What do you feel now? (then?)
We can embrace present moment emotions because of something meaningful from our past. It means the experience; this ‘re-minder’, mattered. Our emotional brain will ‘re-cognise’, (maybe not always correctly) something, and provide physical stimuli for the intellectual thinking brain to consider.
2016 – Brexit. Trump. Syria. Paris. Nice. Berlin … and Celebs who once entertained, dying, as people do.
Loved one’s reached the end of their show, we shouted for one last encore…
Relationships ended, relationships began…
Money, possessions, and positions were found – and lost.
Just another year.
So, how can we begin this new year like no other?
What do you need to let go of? Are you holding a grudge and “drinking the poison, expecting another to die”?
Would you like to learn some loving-kindness exercises for yourself – and others? This can be so powerful to release negative and toxic thoughts and beliefs. It’s also useful for self-compassion – and we could all use some of this!
- “May I be happy”
- “May I be healthy”
- “May I be safe”
- “May I live in peace”
Now consider an individual that brings you warmth…
- “May they be happy”
- “May they be healthy”
- “May they be safe”
- “May they live in peace”
If you have someone in your life you find challenging, visualise them, and repeat the above mantra. Do this with full heart. If you find it too difficult, begin with someone less challenging and work your way up.
Access Your Personal Resources
As a counsellor, I also offer clients a range of resources from book publications to worksheets. I highly recommendation any of the following:
- Running on Empty: Overcome Your Childhood Emotional Neglect
- Mindfulness: A practical guide to finding peace in a frantic world
- The Emotionally Absent Mother: A Guide to Self-Healing and Getting the Love You Missed
- Home Coming: Reclaiming and Championing Your Inner Child
- Recovery of Your Inner Child
Some clients also like to journal their days – and this can be incredibly useful to refer to during our sessions.
Do you want 2017 to be just another year, or would you like it to be THE YEAR?
It’s never too late to unravel the root causes of the pain, discontent, distress we live with, whether through depression or anxiety. But YOU do have to take that first significant step. Contact a guide who comes recommended or feel free to contact me if you’d like to work online; if you are local, and wish to work together in person, we can meet at my offices in Newmarket. Whatever you do, do something to release that which no longer has a place in your life. You are worth it!
I wish you all every peace, love, and happiness, wherever you are.
Bob Brotchie is a counsellor, mindset consultant and creator of "Conscious Living by Design"™. He writes for Anglia Counselling, is featured on various other websites and introduces us to many guest writers all covering topics related to mental health and wellbeing.
Bob provides bespoke counselling services to individuals and couples in the privacy and comfort of a truly welcoming environment at his Anglia Counselling company office, located near Newmarket in Suffolk, England. Bob also provides professional online counselling, for local, national, and international clients. The therapeutic models offered are bespoke to the client’s needs, especially those in receipt of 'childhood emotional neglect' (CEN), whilst integrating a mindful approach to psychotherapy and cognitive behaviour therapy (CBT) principles. For clients experiencing trauma and/or phobia, Bob offers EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitisation and Reprocessing).