An interesting look at us as human beings by our resident writer, Tim.
Some days I listen to the various pressure groups who have an opinion on a person’s sex and wonder why they feel that they have the right to dictate things to us all. This ‘men are men and women are women’ stuff is strident. ‘She’s not a proper woman’ or ‘He’s not a proper man’ all seems intended to put the speaker first, not the person who is wondering about who they are, who they are inside.
It’s about control. And it’s about self-aggrandisement.
Then it struck me.
I wonder whether our actual sex is important. I do not intend that to be as blunt as it seems. Bear with me.
Our bodies are interesting attributes. They have different dangly bits. The female body has an innie, the male has an outie, but aren’t those something that society over millennia has attributed value to? They have a biological importance, of course they do. The female body is capable of pregnancy and childbirth, the male of creating that situation. But they are not that different, especially when viewed from below and behind.
The labia equate broadly to the scrotum. The vagina/clitoris combination equate broadly to the penis. There are functional differences. Even so, the male has the raphe where the vaginal opening is in the female. Males were zipped together in the womb. Not sure what I mean? There are plenty of websites where you can find out. Don’t come running to me if you need to wash your brain after having a look.
If I ignore that I have feelings that society tells me are male and those it tells me are female. I doubt I am unique. I am maternal when I see a child in pain. Society tells me I am paternal, but what do they know? Ladies become very protectively aggressive to protect their children. That is as male an attribute as a female one.
I am cis gendered and male. You may need to look that up. But does that mean I feel male inside, or female? Surely, I am a combination of the two? And does that not make me, simply, a human being?
And despite the hormones and chromosomes the male and female bodies have and differ in, are they not architectural drawings for the carcass rather than the intellect and emotions? We know from biological research that a male brain differs from a female brain. Does that mean that the owner of the brain feels male or female?
I understand the issues people have with, say, gym locker rooms, school changing rooms, but only because the body is something that society has made us desperately concerned with privacy over. Naturists got over that very easily. We could get over it, or we could allocate male, female, and joint facilities and have done with it.
And so, I return to my thought at the start, something a friend made me consider when she told me she was no longer Josh. She was Emilie from that point on but did not have body dysphoria and was simply going to become Emilie without body alterations, chemical or physical.
I wonder whether our actual sex is important.
My conclusion is an informed not knowing the answer and, in the nicest possible way, not being concerned about it.
Mine is the cat. Yours are the pigeons. The floor is yours…
[Footnote: I am a pedantic old scrote. I use ‘sex’ to distinguish between male and female, which is a biological construct, and ‘gender’ to distinguish between the grammatical construct of masculine, feminine and neuter. You may use the terms differently.]
To find out more about 13-year-old Tim, his older self has published Queer Me! Halfway between Flying and Crying